Horoscopes
by azaleas thorns
Summary: what if [in the episode meat is murder, but murder is also murder] Shawn mixed up Lassiter and Juliet's horoscopes? [shassie, slash] [I really wouldn't recommend reading this unless you've seen meat is murder but murder i also murder]


_A/N- so... I don't think this is very likely, but it was fun writing, and I hope it's fun reading, too. XP _

_Also, you may not want to read this unless you've seen the whole episode "Meat is murder, but murder is also murder" because it's based 100 percent off of the original script._

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"so…. Horoscopes, horoscopes… let's see… Jules is a Libra, right? Or was that Lassi…. Maybe Jules is an Aries… oh well, Libra sounds right." Shawn nodded from his desk. 

"Libra- Your one true love will be wearing sneakers and an apple jacks tee shirt." Shawn laughed.

"Now… for Lassi-face." he grinned.

"Aries- Calcium is especially important to you right now mr salt and pepper hair, with a maroon car." Shawn grinned goofily at the computer screen. If this didn't get him, nothing would.

"there may also be a promotion in your future." Shawn remembered overhearing Chief Vick talking on the phone to someone about Lassi's promotion.

"Try walking though doorways backwards for good luck." and this was just to see if he read the horoscopes, and for Shawn's own amusement.

"Aries- Calcium is especially important to you right now mr salt and pepper hair, with a maroon car." Shawn grinned goofily at the computer screen. If this didn't get him, nothing would.

"there may also be a promotion in your future. Try walking though doorways backwards for good luck. Huh. That's oddly specific." O'Hara frowned. she checked her hair for greys in her small mirror as Lassiter walked up to her.

"Carlton!" O'Hara smiled.

"Just in time! You're a Libra, right?" She grinned.

"O'Hara-" Lassiter started exasperated.

"Oh come on! At least let me read it to you." O'Hara frowned.

"Fine. But make it quick." Lassiter scowled.

"Ok!" O'Hara smiled.

"Let's see… Libra. Your one true love will be wearing sneakers and an apple jacks tee shirt." O'Hara frowned, and Lassiter looked quizzically at her.

"and what is that supposed to mean?" He asked her.

"Detective Lassiter, can I see you in my office?" Chief Vick asked, walking past him.

"oh, sure." he frowned, checking what she was wearing, and not at all surprised to see no apple jacks shirt.

"Detective Lassiter! SBPD! Who's in charge of this Freak-fest?!" Lassiter barked, casting aside his horoscope as just another load of bull.

"Guys!" O'Hara yelled over to Shawn and Gus.

"We got your message! Please tell us what this has to do with the… case?" O'Hara pulled off her sunglasses, and looked down at Shawn's shirt.

Didn't Lassiter's horoscope say his true love would be wearing an Apple Jacks tee shirt?

"Nice shirt." She frowned.

"Thanks." Shawn struggled not to smile. He was SO getting to her.

"Did you buy that today by any chance?"

_'he's probably just messing with Carlton.'_ O'Hara frowned.

Shawn laughed.

"This old rag? Nah, I've had this thing for just about forever."

"This whack-job's in violation of at least six different municipal codes and she smells like curly fries. I say we cut her loose and take her down. Where's the restaurant manager?" Lassiter asked, walking over to them.

"Probably inside, managing the restaurant."

"Copy that." Lassiter started to walk away, before taking a double look at Shawn's shirt.

"did you buy that today?" Lassiter frowned.

Shawn and Gus exchanged glances.

Why would Lassiter care about O'Hara's horoscope?

"No." Shawn frowned, giving Jules a confused look.

"Uhm.." Jules started.

"We should go talk to that restaurant manager. Right Carlton?" She stressed, pulling on Lassiter's arm.

The two walked up to the doorway.

"Wait for it…" Shawn whispered to Gus, waiting for Lassiter to walk through backwards.

But instead, he walked in normally, and O'Hara walked in backwards…

"Oh no…" Shawn started.

"You didn't." Gus looked at him.

"Juliet's the Aries, and Lassiter's the Libra…" Shawn looked horrified. Gus grinned.

"that means you're Detective Lassiter's true love." He grinned mockingly, before walking away.

Shawn stayed there, and continued to look horrified.

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_A/N- so how was it? review please!!_


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